In a spaceship
Faster than light
Time ceases to be
Ageless now
Thoughts intertwine
And will we ever meet again?
What do you think
When you are trapped
In a hurricane?
What do you feel
When you can't escape?
Squeaking rats
Just outside the window
Keep it close
And suffocate
Images communicate
Themselves to me
and I can't verbalize
What you are
So i condemn you
And you are not
You are naught
But still you insist
I'm just a lousr painter
I'm just a bad writer
One more sand grain
Still lost
In the whirlwind
Of timelessness
13 comments:
well you have no worries about being a lousy painter or writer....caught in a hurricane..i know that feeling...it seems there may be more here i am missing but...
How you feel when you're trapped...*shivers* Not good, I can tell you.
This was fabulous-so different than what you used to write.
I can relate well to this feeling. If only it would land on a moment you don't wish to end instead of what you describe here.
best wishes.
powerful message.
Excellent! Maha, What you might be saying here, you say so well--grin! I have long thought there is no such quality of the universe called "time". But, the proof? Poof!
Trapped, yessss, many places, but mainly in my own mind, that steel trap--won't let anything in, nor anything OUT! And the rats ARE real--grin again!
Is it a thought? "...you (who) are naught"
You are anything and everything EXCEPT "lousy painter" or "bad writer", Maha--and you should humbly KNOW that!
And the ending--OH! Greatness!
(I do not like the adjective "bad" in front of "writer'..something else fits there: "...lousy painter
horrible writer."???)
Sorry I'm preaching what I never practice--you've heard of guys like that!
Awesome piece, like I'd expect from you, Ma'am.....If I am too rude for you, please correct me in Email, OK?--grin!
Is that a paean of the innermost crevices. I hope it is not but just a poetic meandering of the soul.
But don't they say what comes out is from within. The feeling almost makes one unable to move: mentally and spiritually. I know it too well. But even that shall pass.
Joy always,
Susan
I, like Brian, feel I'm missing a bigger message here. Lots being said. I'll read and read it again.
You are a great writer. I lked the first 3 paragraphs very much. I can relate to them. The last para is also very good.
keep writing. :)
myriad-sumit.blogspot.com
This was a great piece of writing. Enjoyed it as always. I agree with Brian.
Have a nice day, Maha...:)
that's pretty intense stuff, but I love it.
x)
xx scarzz
Something I am sure of is... you are SOO NOT a bad writer.
:) Loved it
yep... ive been trapped in a huriacane too! and Ive suffocated because of letting the window shot.
I was really missing you wrote in verse.
Painful and powerful, as always... I started to feel anxious and kind of suffocated .. few people can get that far as i read them. You do.
A bad writer? No way girl!
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