My outer wounds seal as I push you away and jump back to my desolate ocean. I swim deeper into it, letting its ice anesthetize my skin and freeze my innards. I yelp, knowing that no answer shall ever come. I willingly give in and lay in its depth trying to gather the dispersed pieces of my lungs. I sleep. Sleep……
The ticking of the seconds is muted. No, not muted, it’s perished. Time is perished. And I run in the never ending shades of it. Take your immortality away, I don’t need it. Just give me my self back.
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25 comments:
oh wow. vivid post...i have often struggled with the thought of immortality. i think there is something appealing to the finite nature of life...
Being part of the universe, energized by the circle of life - that is enough for me.
The prompt lent itself quite well to your 'dark' interpretation -- but I enjoyed it, well written...
...rob
Image & Verse
This is so amazing Maha-one of those "beautiful but sad". Loved the new layout too!
Very provacative in a wonderfully deep way ....
so well written, i loved reading this. my favorite line is "time is perished. and i run in the never ending shades of it." beautiful c:
Wow, deep wounds...so painful. Incredible, intense writing.
There is a 'Twilight' feel about your piece today. I think it becomes strong when, at the end, you call to be returned to yourself. A powerful writing. Well done.
Star
If I had to the chance for immortality, I don't think I would accept. There is not an allure for me. As time would pass, so would those I love most dearly. You are an amazing writer for one so "young". But your soul is so much older.
Your soul is much older to quote from Lisa at the bottom comment. Profound thoughts, well written, quite a talent. Amazing poem.
QMM
I love the new format of your blog!!! It's really beautiful.
Your post is awesome...immortality is overrated. Your words are music as always.
The thought of being immortal scares me.
Amazing post.
i can barely grasp this with my intellect but my heart feels the beauty and flow of your need...your work is just beautiful!
Where do all those deceased seconds go? In which cemetery do they lay? Do explorers search their stiff bodies and liquid graves for stray moments?
So powerful.... Well done. Beautiful and intense.
Thrice... Is that a word? Well, now it is.
"Time is perished"... I loved that. And also how you ended your poem: "Just give me my self back".
Take care/ Jo.
A powerful piece.
Vicki said it: a powerful piece.
I think we all get our immortality back..the self always returns..it's karma!! Unless we're perfect, that is!
Dreamy, and surprisingly a vindication of our imperfect, limited selves.
Dark and beautiful.
(I love the word "yelp", btw)
I rather be mortal.
I love your "struggles".
AWESOME!
mine is here
this is my first magpie tale.
have you a great week.
hugs
shakira
I love time is perished it's so, I don't know...true. You hit the nail on the head; just three words tell such a complete image, story, saga...hard to explain but a really really really wonderful Magpie.
A powerful dark tale -- I do not know where the words came from within you but it was a great ending -- "Take your immortality away, I don’t need it. Just give me my self back"
Joanny
I'm reading Bram Stoker's Dracula this week. Your poem would fit into that tome perfectly. I thought of the victim and the victimizer as I read.
intense totally vivid
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