A shot in the heart
Bereft
Of life
Footsteps on the snow
Wind wafts
And they slowly fade
Empty of feeling
Dreaming of being
A distorted soul
Untouched by joy
Longing to sleep
And to drift away
Screams
Masked by silence
Disconnected
A rootless tree
Craves belonging
And just
Drowns in darkness
Begging for light
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21 comments:
Wow! I had to read this over twice because there's so much to it. I initially thought it was about a physical murder, but now I'm thinking your poem speaks more to what it feels like to want death after being rejected by life.
A very powerful 55!
I like the lines "screams masked by silence". I think we've all experienced that at least once in our lifetimes.
Here's mine Take Pleasure - 101
Have a super terrific weekend.
powerful indeed! the soul is a lonely hunter... come to think of it 'the soul is a lonely hunter' is a great book (sorry, attention span).. great 55
leaves me feeling very blessed...that i am rooted,,,
and the light shines upon me, with a full and vibrant heart.
today i shall view those in need with your work ever present.
This was definitely powerful.
"A rootless tree
Craves belonging"
Beautiful.
The depth of this piece is outstanding, I had to read it twice. At first I thought it was murder, but with the second read, I believe it is speaking of a broken heart, and the ensuing wasteland of disconnected emotions and sorrow.
You write so well!
Very good 55.
Margie :)
A well written 55. All is bleak but one should never give up hope. There will be light.
Thanks for visiting and commenting on
My 55: My Invisibility
Untouched by joy/Longing to sleep.
That was my Wednesday.
This is a powerful piece. Well done. Thanks.
young but creative you,
beautiful 55.
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/03/19/55-how-do-you-relax-during-weekends/
mine is here.
thank you for the feedback!
Maha, that was amazing. I especially loved the beginning of the second verse.
Whoa.. so profound.. each line!
Creative 55 - well played!
i could read this one over and over...so much there...i scream sometimes...a bit late making the 55 rounds...hope you have a great weekend!
Thank you for your kind words and being a follower. :) hope to read more of your writing
There is so much emotion in this! Powerful indeed.
My 55 is up here.
I love your style too Maha..it is different and takes your reader places,i enjoyed reading your work as much..keep it up,you are so talented my dear..:)
Sorry I'm so late. This is a beautiful 55. I enjoyed the imagery very much.
Don't worry! thanks for stopping by.
I'm thinking your poem speaks more to what it feels like to want death after being rejected by life.
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