Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Through Me

Egypt is such a loose term; who or what am I referring to when I utter that name? It seems to be like those things you know through and through, and yet, it lies beyond your ability to mould into delineate.

Places are queer-countries are places too-we give them hands to hold memories and we let soul wander in them as they define our decisions, as though they are people, or more: saints, angels. And in seconds, we can undress them of all reverence and leave them naked on the ground to tread whatever remains with a thousand dissing tongue. We fight for places and we die for places. We breathe for places . And places, they don't feel a thing. So, are we only bonding with the shadows of us intertwining on the walls? Are we merely attached to an enormous other self? Can all the emotion overflowing in our hearts be the facade of only one: possession? In their inconsideration, objects and places are the same; objects, though, I can touch; places, they lie between the abstract and the concrete..and in that too lies all the mystery.

I'll let Egypt pass through me like it's the minor and I'm the great. Call me a narcissist, or a megalomaniac, but I won't let myself be a part of Egypt, Egypt will be a part of me. If I want objective facts, history books will be full of that. I am here to be biased, to let all that is me overpower. I'll be the sieve through which the sunrays pass.

I cared to hear and converse, to argue to reach a truth. I felt afraid and recoiled to bed with my limbs shivering. For the most part though, I wanted to recede to myself, where none of it took place, where nothing at all takes place. It’s painful to be me and it’s more painful that I never want to break free.


Anonymous said...

I've always loved the mystique of eygpt and would love to go there but it's just crazy to go to the middle east if you're an american or a white one for that matter.

Great land, great people and historic stoies, structures and people.

maybe some day.

THE BEATY said...

wow neat idea that you become part of a place or a place becomes part of you.

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Such a haunting post this time...I loved the last paragraph especially. You are right: places don't breathe.

Brian Miller said...

hey there...just thought about you the other day...been a while...hope you are well...

egypt will be a part of me...yeah i hear you...

Cloudia said...

Egypt's citizen heroes!!!!!

Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral



Susan Deborah said...

Been a while, Maha. Hope you are well. I have been following the news for some time and it has been quite difficult for me to listen to the people and their stories. I do hear you when you talk about Egypt.

Joy always,

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

It's been a long time Maha. And the land, we often rever it as our mother, and it is our mother, most of the times.
But this mother is different, made by its children, it did not make them the same way they make it, mother.

Nice post, and yes, you are a firework, spark is within you and the power too.

Blasphemous Aesthete

Kaleidoscope Girl said...

People make the place, not vice versa.

Barry said...

Your words have always filled me with wonderment and warmth. But to be honest they're secondary to my concern for your well-being in these times. I hope you're safe and keeping well Maha.