Friday, September 3, 2010

Shields of Silence



I watch the night’s sky graying with black clouds following their invisible trails to evanescence,  ghosts of a time that is no longer there and let my mind wander away with them.  Occasionally my  eyes fall on a blank page imagining a chaos of spilled ink on it. Between my index and middle fingers I  toy with my pen and from time to time, I let it draw words on the paper but then, I tear it and start anew, staring at a stark white page. It’s been hours and I still don’t know what next to write.  What is her name going to be?

   She feels every eye scrutinizing her.  “What’s your name?” The teacher asked. They all want to know. With each minute elapsing , a daunting pain hunts her young heart. Finally, the teacher tells her to sit down, but at that second, her voice finally escapes her lips. “Drew,” she says.  Silence. Everyone laughs. She said her name the wrong way and now she has to be trapped in the echoes of it being imitated by the other children. Listens. She listens. But she cannot bear it anymore. “They all hate me” They all hate her. Rage is building up fringed by her shields of silence, but then, it evades. “Stop!” She yells, “Just stop!” She runs out of the class, slamming the door behind her.
   At the end of  Drew’s first day in middle school, two things happened: She got punished for leaving the class and she earned the name “Drew the Whacko”

Drew. Her name has to be Drew. She is Drew.
   When I hear the sound of footsteps thudding, I hide the papers under the desk and manage to slip the pen into my pocket. Matt must have woken up. He says good morning. Then, I find myself  within Drew as the next scene gets written within my head.

   Years pass by. Drew is now married. She stands silently watching her husband as he gets dressed knowing  too well what his destination is going to be. Creased, in her hand, is a note she’d found the other day forgotten in one of his pockets.  She can face him, tell him she knows but.....

Matt’s cell phone rings. I move out of the room as fast as possible in order not to hear.
He calls me on my out.
“Drew,” I turn my head, “Can you please wash the black suit? I am having a meeting tonight”
  Yes Matt yes, it was in the black suit that gave you away. Her name is Jane and not James, like you are calling her in front of me. And by the way, I know you are not going to any meetings because you were fired two months ago. But you think I am Dumb Drew that’s why you find it so easy to obliterate me and talk to her while I am in the room. But you are right, I am dumb and stupid. I wash  to you every night the clothes you stained with her so that she can see you as beautiful as can be, while all I deserve is  you in your dirty pajamas. I cook and clean to save her the effort of doing so. And of course I have to pretend that it’s all alright treating my heart like a stone. But Matt, I won’t be the one shattering the peace of our family. I will have to wait. I am the one you love. I am the one you come to at the end of the day.
  When I am done, I hurry to my story. Drew faces her husband. He confesses but also tells her he can’t be with her anymore. He leaves her and all she gains is regret for shattering her shields of silence.

10DoM Post



24 comments:

JeffScape said...

Oh, yeah. Welcome to 10thDoM. You will find you're gonna fit in nicely. Hah!

There's a typo (I think) in the last paragraph: I wash to you every night the clothes you stained with her...

If it's not, I apologize in advance.

Brian Miller said...

nice. great first 10DOM maha...love the almost two realities between the writer and the story...

Claudia said...

great maha! you weave the stories together in such a perfect way
…checked out 10Dom as well - maybe i'll give it a try some day..

Fickle Cattle said...

A story within a story. Interesting.

http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Inception.. hehe

Nice one, no matter how much she regrets Drew did the right thing. She will get over it and maybe somewhere, someone is just the right guy for her.

Cheers
Blasphemous Aesthete

Sam Liu said...

A wonderful story, Maha. You have a very subtle style, and you succinctly bring your words together. Nuanced and a delightful. 10DoM looks interesting too, I may try it some time :)

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Gorgeous! *applauds*

I love how with each part the story twists further, grows deeper...

Tom said...

Great writing, love the character developement, especially of Drew. This could easily be stretched out into a longer piece.

Baino said...

Welcome indeed. Great first effort. Nice juxtaposition of reality and fantasy and I agree that it could survive nicely with a little extension.

in_blue_sky said...

Is it possible to leave your favorite here so ..
not good

.. N.O.H.A .. said...

I'm in LOVE !!!!!!!

I've always known you'd be awesome with stories. I hope you write more of them!

Gr8 job sweets!

Magpie said...

So very well done, Maha.
The title tells so much...shields of silence. I'm curious as to where you would take her life from here.

GYPSYWOMAN said...

oh, what beauty you do weave with your words, lady!

willow said...

I like how you brought out Drew's fears and weaknesses as a child and how they play out in adulthood. Great read!

Tina said...

Nice weaving of fantasy and reality. You took us inside her life, and gave us a glimpse. I agree with the others that you could go further with this. I like your style. (I'm new to 10DOM, too, just my second time.) Welcome!

Jane Doe said...

This is beautifully done. It's so heartrending and sorrowful. I love how you said that she feels he obliterates her. It's such a powerful image.

Not For Jellyfish said...

Interesting how she writes her story the way she knows it will end so that she can continue to live her fantasy nightmare reality. I think I can relate.

Lu Ann said...

Wow Maha!

"I will have to wait. I am the one you love. I am the one you come to at the end of the day."
That`s the sad part of being the "other woman", knowing that at the end of the day he will after all come back to where he´s from-.

Ed Pilolla said...

dysfunction junction. well told.

THE BEATY said...

Awsome double narrative. Sorry for not visiting lately.

x said...

i like how you weave the tales together and take your time letting us feel out the character...i would agree, let it go where it needs and dont worry about the length.

PattiKen said...

I like the story within a story. It works well here. Good job.

And welcome to 10thDoM. Like jeff said, you'll fit in well.

hvninhell said...

Painful outcome. It's good she spoke out, but a shame that she didn't control the ending, he did that for her. Welcome!

Katelyn Likes This said...

Oh, the "teacher" part made me shiver. I still live in fear of teachers after all these years.

On a side not, i find it hard on my eyes to read the text on your layout. I might just be picky though. Or hard of sight.